Balance

I think the most surprising thing has been the speed in which we have settled back in here. Mind you, day 1 and 2 included some very extreme thoughts and feelings. I looked at Sam in horror at one point and said, "Seriously, why in the world do we live here?!" It was one of those reality check moments that are necessary to bringing balance to life. We tend to get super comfortable, thinking that slapping earwigs that are crawling on your arm in the middle of the night is normal. Or that our mud yard is ok. It's really quite ugly and super frustrating to not have a normal yard. I think it's ok every once in a while to say...."we don't live a normal life, this is hard". It's often just a passing thought and then I move on. 

Thankfully I haven't had too many of those moments. It's been a good balance. The fact that our kids have settled nicely is such a huge factor towards this. Greyson and Amelia now beg us to go swimming in the river every afternoon as we've been making that somewhat of a routine. The rule, though, is they may never swim alone...always in a group or where there is activity, like people out checking their nets for fish, kids paddling in their canoes for fun. Ideally, they swim with a large group of friends. We also need to start practicing quick swimming techniques as my next piece of advice to them would probably be "never be the slowest swimmer". This isn't becuase I want my kids winning any medals. It's purely for survival. Crocodiles, though not often spotted, definitely roam these river systems and I'd really prefer it if my kids weren't on the menu. 

Rovan has been taking everything in like a champ. When we arrived in the country he was definitely convinced this was Madagascar. Whether it was the people who share his skin color or simply the "feel" of it, I may never know. But I believe the Asmat village life is nothing familiar to him and I wish I could see what his 3 year old mind sees. This is completely new territory for him and I'm so proud of him for keeping his joyful spirit through all of this. He sits happily next to our friends and blabbers, as if he thinks he's speaking the language like us. He walks confidently down the boardwalks and has only fallen once and stepped in dog poop once. That's pretty impressive actually. All of it with a big smile on his face. 

The people are incredibly intrigued by him and also seem to love him already. I don't know everything they're thinking as we've only been able to explain a little bit of his story but they've definitely accepted him. On day 1 they gave him an Asmat name just like the rest of us...Tien (TEE-en....named after an Asmat relative of ours). 

Hearing the language again has been so fun and so frustrating. I was nervous that I'd forgotten everything and while I still stutter and stammer and can't get my words to come out, I have been listening a lot and remembering things I forgot I even knew. I'm sure the people have had conversations about how much I don't know anymore. But each day I'm remembering more and more and I'm able to slowly work towards the level I was at before leaving. I constantly have to repeat my life's mantra: one day at a time. 

There are 2 more weeks til we're supposed to head out to town to renew our visas (remember we entered the country on temporary ones) and to hopefully attend a small fellowship with others in our mission org. I say hopefully because new restrictions have recently come into play here, causing a lot of uncertainty pertaining to travel. Our host country has officially mandanted travelers (12 and up) to and from the main islands and to enter the country to be fully vaccinated. Within our island, it's still unsure what the final mandates will be but we are so thankful we decided to go ahead and vaccinate in the states before we returned. Because knew this was a possibility. And now cases have spiked here. Thankfully our village seems to have already been exposed last year (no real severe cases) and we're praying that somehow even if the new strain arrives, our friends here will be protected. You never know what a virus like this will do here, but they are also battling more significant diseases like TB, HIV, and other unknown illnesses. Yesterday we began treating a 2 month old baby for what we've decided is most likely pneumonia. I worry about her breathing and am hoping the medicine we're using will be effective to treat it. If you think of it, pray for her. We know that ultimately her life is in His hands. 

The balance. If we were in the states, the baby would go to the doctor to get treatment. Here, with the clinic down the river being largely without a doctor and the people very fearful of the health care here, they come to us first and we do what we can, trying not to undermine the existing health care. If/when we leave, what are they left with? It's a tricky balance. 

It's a balance to remember our goal here while dealing with the daily grind. 

Ultimately, I am still so grateful to be back. Back where the the sound of rain on our tin roof is often so deafening you have to use sign language to communicate. Back where we sleep with fans blowing on us at night to battle the humidity and heat. Back where Greyson has his Lego loft again. Back where the view of the river bend is comforting to my soul. The things I missed for so long, I am now enjoying again. As life goes on here, and gets difficult, my prayer is that I remember to extend grace to others and to myself. To remember God's incredible goodness in leading us back here, His faithfulness in the lives of our friends and coworkers, and His sanctifying work in my life. To remember whose I am. We never walk our journeys alone. 

"But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life. The saying is trustworthy, and I want you to insist on these things, so that those who have believed in God may be careful to devote themselves to good works. These things are excellent and profitable for people."

Titus 3:4‭-‬8